on writing

Writing. I started journaling when I was probably about 8 years old and still have every journal. Lately they’ve been calling me to read and maybe transcribe them. Maybe it’s to see my evolution, maybe to preserve them for my daughter to read someday and understand her mom’s life and past. Much of my old writing is cringeworthy - a lot of victimhood and complaining about my circumstances and people- no doubt difficult to read. Someone famous said something to the effect of if you’re not cringing at your past, you’re not growing. 

I’ve written with halting regularity my whole life and I find I crave it more than ever now that my time to do so is much more limited. It’s the way I digest experiences, the way I process sticky spots in my life and unearth feelings my very tricky mind has talked myself out of. 

I come from a family of writers, three of my immediate family have degrees in writing and literature. My grandfather loved to write and tell stories and I treasure the letters he sent me from a young age. When there are so many ‘real’ writers around, it can be hard not feel like an imposter- like I need more training or skills to consider myself a writer. 

But something I learned in going through formalized art and design training and certification is that all of that process can actually be paralyzing. Being told by someone outside of ourselves how to do something ‘right’ can lead to not wanting to do it at all for risk of failure. So it’s actually really freeing to not have any rules or old professors in my head giving their subjective opinion on my personal style. 

Writing has been the sturdiest leg in the tripod of my foundations of personal growth and transformation. Reading and meditation are the other two. A steady practice of all three is, for me, the thing that keeps me grounded, appreciative and expanding. 

I started a program called Cocoon two years ago with the intention of guiding others into these practices and other tools to begin learning themselves in a new way. To begin to look within and unearth the beliefs, stuck emotions, experiences and traumas that act as barriers to the life they seek. 

I think it’s time to offer this again. This time as a six month group container. We’ll have calls twice a month, guided meditations, a group thread for questions and writing prompts. You don’t have to have any experience with any of this work- this will be slow, gentle and foundational.