on photography

I’d wanted a ‘real’ camera since moving to Hawaii. To capture this beautiful place and our experience of a lifetime living here. And to start to create again.
It took me a while to let myself have the thing. So many things came up along with the desire- would I even use it enough to justify the cost? There are a bazillion photographers in the world, why do I wanna be another one? Who needs more landscape pictures? I tried to learn manual photography as a kid and it was too hard. I’m not a tech-y, what if I just don’t get it? I’m too clumsy- what if I break it? What if I bore everyone with my images? The mind will do some wild things to sabotage true desire.
My guy @c_lew_livin wanted to get it for me for Christmas but I needed to learn so much before I could even know what I wanted. I let the process be slow, just coming back to the research when I wasn’t overwhelmed by the options. He asked me lots of good prioritizing questions (I love his mind😍). I spent lots of time on the phone w my best friend and photographer @basilwrathbone to decide technical specs. I agonized over budget (a pattern I have when I really want something) and then ordered.
She’s finally here and I’m so stoked. There’s something so sweet about setting up shots and playing with the outcome that is so different than an iPhone or point and shoot. It makes me notice little details and subtle shifts in light.